


all there is and all there ever was

by wago9000



Category: The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals - Team StarKid
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Time Loop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-03
Updated: 2019-12-03
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:27:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21662923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wago9000/pseuds/wago9000
Summary: ted's perspective of the events of tgwdlm ! very angsty. he is having a bad time.title from inevitable from...... tgwdlm. surprise!
Relationships: Charlotte/Ted (The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals), Paul Matthews/Ted/Bill
Comments: 2
Kudos: 36





	all there is and all there ever was

**Author's Note:**

> this was written in oct 2018 ! tgwdlm was not even public yet! it's messy and i have NO idea why it's formatted like this. the ending is also out of nowhere. deepest apologies to anyone who actually reads this.

**1.**

Ted has never been afraid as he is when Charlotte enters the room. Her guts are dangling precariously out of her stomach and are the same electric blue Sam’s brain was. She’s singing, and it’s clear and bright. There’s no sign of her accent in it.

This is the woman that he’s quietly spent the last three months falling in love with behind her husband’s back. And there’s her husband, equally as terrifying with his Drano-blue brains hanging out of his tangled mop of hair. God, he shouldn’t have left Charlotte alone. He should have made her come with him to get a drink. Or some water, at least, since he shouldn’t be encouraging her drinking habits. 

Frightened, Ted rushes towards Paul and Ted, and finds himself clinging to them both, even though the love between the trio is all long gone. Does it matter, though? It already hurts enough, seeing Charlotte like this. It doesn’t matter if he makes things worse between the three of them. God, it’s the fucking apocalypse, and this is what he’s thinking about?

They’re running around more and it definitely doesn’t matter that he was that close to his ex-lovers, because now his other ex-lover has him pinned to the ground, and oh my  _ God _ , this is how he’s gonna die. Charlotte and Sam, if that’s who they still are, are yelling variations of that stupid ‘bop-it’ game while beating him senseless. 

But thank God for their choreography, because Sam steps away and gets shot, and then so does Charlotte. He gets off the ground and runs back towards the professor with the gun, keeping his back to Paul and Bill so they can’t see how panicked he is. He’s about to have a complete breakdown. The only person he had left is dead (twice?) and her guts and her brain are everywhere and that stupid cat sweater she loved is ruined. He’s the one who bought that for her. 

Bill and Paul start to move the bodies away from the room, and Ted avoids the blood as best as he can, and makes it to the bottle of rum from earlier. He downs as much of it as he can.

**2.**

At first, Ted doesn’t realize he’s lost Bill as well. Paul shows up to rescue himself and Emma, and Ted is just so relieved he forgets Bill was the whole reason they left at all. It’s as they’re all running for their lives that he realizes. He stops in his tracks and throws everyone off.

Bill had always been the sweetheart of the trio. Paul was snarky and Ted was the asshole. Bill was just pure love and kindness. He was always spending time with his daughter or his boyfriends (when he had them, that was). He loved musicals and comic books and just wanted to share his love with everyone. And now he never would. And Ted’s last fucking words to him had been an angry rant about how he shouldn’t go and find his daughter.

What had happened to Alice? Was she dead too? She had to be, Bill would have wanted to stay with her. She was his weak spot. If she was turned, he would be too. Anything for the light of his life.

“Ted, what are you  _ doing _ ?” Paul hisses. “We have to keep moving!”

“I’m so sorry,” Ted blurts. “I am so, so sorry. I deserve everything bad that’s happened to me. I’ve been a complete asshole. None of you have deserved that. I’m gonna be a better person from now on, I swear to you, I swear to god, I swear on Bill and Charlotte’s lives,”

Suddenly, there’s two of them, two of the crazy musical people, and they’re grabbing Emma and Paul and all Ted can do is grab the gun and  _ go _ . Oh my God. He’s ruined things even  _ more _ .

**3.**

The next thing Ted knows, he’s catching up to the army and he thinks everything is going to be okay, but then the guy with the ponytail is taking the gun and shooting Ted in the side and he’s about to fucking  _ die _ , oh my God, he’s never been in so much  _ pain _ .

The ponytail man is shoving something blue into his mouth and the pain is fading but everything feels  _ wrong _ . The hole in his side is filling itself with something that feels gooey and his body is starting to move without his control. He’s marching with the army. He realizes he’s singing with them too, crisp clear notes coming out of his mouth that are completely unfamiliar. He doesn’t understand any of this. 

Emma and Paul are running past and through the group and he wants to call out to them but he can’t, even when two of the soldiers have Paul and are holding him firmly to the ground. All he can do is watch. Emma shoots the soldiers and for a second, he flinches and has control again, but then he’s back to the singing and marching. 

He’s lost two of his loves and himself. He starts to fade.

**4.**

Paul is there again. Ted doesn’t know how long it’s been since he became one of…. them. He hasn’t been conscious. Paul has a sash full of grenades and he’s approaching the meteor. Ted wishes he could call out and encourage him. He wants this to end. He’s already dead. He knows that. But Paul should live. He can’t take seeing Paul die too.

The singing starts up again, and this time Ted is almost… influencing what comes out of his mouth?

“Watch out Paul,” he says. Yes! Good! That’s what he wants! He makes a joke about Bill kicking heads, and he feels satisfied, he got to say something. But then the others chime in, and Paul clearly thinks it’s not genuine. Maybe it’s not, because then Ted loses control of his voice again and the musical people are talking.

The choreography takes Ted right in front of Paul and for a split second, he cups the other man’s face. He wants to cry, but he can’t. When Paul starts singing, the feeling only gets worse. Please, don’t let Paul turn too. Let him  _ live _ , for Christ’s sake. Don’t let it out. Keep it in, keep everything in and, run.

Paul starts to sing for real, deep and from the heart.

“I’ve never been happy,” he says, low and clear.

Ted’s heart breaks even more in that moment. He knows Paul has struggled with depression for a long time, and God, he doesn’t want this to happen to him. He wishes he could hold him and kiss him and tell him that no, he isn’t crazy. Everything else happening is what’s crazy. 

Paul breaks through, and he blows up the meteor, and everything goes white.   
  


**5.**

He comes back to in a bright white room. A hospital, maybe? Certainly not the one from Hatchetfield. Is he in Clydesdale somehow? He doesn’t have control of his body still. He’s just stuck sitting in a chair. Waiting, he supposes. For the next big show-stopping number. 

Soon enough, he starts to move, falling in line with Bill and…. Mr. Davidson? They’re performing an elaborate number, and fuck, Paul is there. Singing and dancing just like the rest of them. How is Bill there? Why isn’t Charlotte there? Is it impossible to die in this state?

Emma is there too, and she’s definitely not singing. She’s definitely screaming bloody murder. They all encroach upon her until she falls to the ground, and then everything freezes completely.

**6.**

They’re…. singing a summary? Of everything that had just happened. And… Emma is a part of it? They got her too. Ted didn’t love her, but it still makes his heart hurt. She never deserved this either. They go through the whole song, which seems to be about Paul? Ted realizes he had been absent from the song so far. Charlotte is back, though. Her guts aren't out anymore? Things slow down and Ted blacks out entirely, not the way he had at the meteor or in between previous songs. Those were bright white. Now it’s just empty

**7.**

It’s earlier that day. At the office. And Ted…. has  _ control _ . Holy fucking shit. 

“You’re going to Beanies?” he says to Paul, acting on autopilot. Then he realizes what’s going on, and he falls to the ground and hits his head.


End file.
